Match Report - 01 Sep 2018, Leeds Modernians Football Club 1sts beat Rothwell
Following on from a draw which should have been a win at The Wetherby River stadium on Wednesday, Mods went into their early season home game against Rothwell already knowing that a win was crucial. Manager Danny Forrest made this point abundantly clear with a clear and concise 50 minute team talk/career reflection. Clearly emotions were clouding the manager’s thinking as he encouraged everyone to be more like Mikey Hall, the first person to offer such advice since Nigel Farage in 2016.
Due to the all-conquering Reserves not having a fixture, Forrest and his co/assistant manager Elliot were able to select from a depth of ‘talent’, further boosted by the return of Oceania’s best player Adam Platten.
Continuing in goal Matty Lewis
CB: S. Griggs
DM: Alex Pouncett
LM: Gammon Hall
Mods started the game in horrifically comical style as Gillett’s attempted clearance was blocked back into the path of Wes, whose attempted clearance was blocked and looped over the head of the somehow still continuing in goal for us Lewis. A goal that could only have been more Mods to concede had Jacob run onto the pitch to nod it home only to have Jacko tower over him and jowl it home.
1 minute and 1-0 down. Not a time to panic, a time to blame Artpty for all of the evils in the world. Gammon Boy was switched to his preferred hard right and Artpty, already turning a concerning shade of purple went to play in front of his equally UV challenged mate Mozza.
Mods had the better of the play and chances were spurned by Forrest and the clown boots of Platten. Signs of the old Platten were evident as he caused a Rothwell player to topple over with The Platten Gyration ™
An early change was made as Jack replaced Artpty who was whisked off to Dulup to present his new shade to the colour chart. Just before half time, a quick double from Forrest put Mods into a deserved lead. The first a low free kick that found its way through the wall and keeper, the second of which coming from a thumping header following a Robinson corner, his first assist of 3 for the afternoon, as he would remind everyone in Cookridge later in the afternoon whilst simultaneously turning into a tiny, whiny baby.
Half Time – 2:1 Mods
Mods started the second half with purpose and soon took the game away from Rothwell. Another Robinson corner, delivered from his tricycle, was crashed home by Wes who responded with the expression of a man who has not scored for 7 years, a mix of disbelief and confused joy; a look his Empty Heed CB partner walks around with on a daily basis.
The next 25 minutes were simply the Adam Platten show as he found his stride on the left, forcing an own goal with a low cross before doing the exact same thing moments later to find Forrest to complete his hat trick. Platten then won and converted a penalty in the cool style of a man who doesn’t really understand where he is or why.
Ben Griffiths replaced Danny Forrest and Ben Morgan replaced Mozza midway through the half.
At 6:1 Mods slacked off and perhaps showed some flaws in fitness again as long balls were causing problems and a lot of needless free kicks were given away. BeavisButtheadRenStimpy headed home from a corner past the somehow still continuing in goals for us Matt Lewis. The Rothwell captain was in no doubt who was to blame from a Mods point of view, aiming a torrent of abuse at his opposing skipper, the kind of disrespect Alex Pouncett himself usually aims at his gardeners and other staff members.
There was just enough time for Callum to revert to the crawling stage of his devolution as he fired his 8th 30 yarder towards the corner flag and questioned why people would not have a go at the genius in clown shoes for missing the target once.
Overall, a good and much needed 6:2 win with still a lot of room to improve on which should come easier now it is back to one game per week and regular training back on the agenda. Onwards and upwards.
*Artpty was classed as ‘Mulberry Burst’ by the good people at Dulux.
Leeds Modernians Football Club 1sts 6 - 2 Rothwell ()