Match Report

Match Report - 10 Jan 2015, Leeds Modernians Football Club 1sts beat Kippax



o wins since November 1st and 8 games, but the Mods went to Kippax on the back of a decent point and a very good performance the previous week. T'was a windy barnacle of a day with games being called off throughout the league. As the teams arrived the referee seemed keen to add to this number as he reluctantly stood on the pitch weighing up how he could call it off and avoid having to take off his jacket. It was even too windy for the Kippax lads to spark up during their warm up like the reverse fixture, despite the nice Mods lads offering to shield the wind for them.

The ref got into some player's heads and a few senior players weren't keen for the game to go ahead, but those senior players will not be named and the game went ahead.

Mods lines up:

ML21 in goals

Damo left back
Dizzee Claxton and Steve 'Mad Dog' Wilkinson centre back
Dan Jamison right back

Gillett and senior player Pouncett at the base of the midfield

Attacking midfield of Waz in the right, ex pro sportsman James Lee in the middle and Dec Keaney on the left

Up front, the league's top scorer Ben Turner

Subs, Hurrells and Joe Hebb

The ref cited rule 34n of the FA Laws Of The Game and said, 'if it's sh*t after 15 minutes we'll call it off'. Shame he wasn't in charge at Cents.


Captain Pouncett won the toss and decided to play with the considerable hurricane at the Mod's back. The wind being so strong it was a case of get as many on the board as possible. Mods dominated the play without being able to forge a notable chance, the highlight of a scrappy opening being BT9 scoring an absolutely ridiculous volley which would have entered his goal of the season competition had he not been partaking in his favourite hobby at the time, being offside. Keaney missed a very good chance at the back post after a wonderful cross from the grafting Waz and it was starting to look like a frustrating half.

Thankfully, Waz then repeated his top class wide play and whipped a delicious cross in to a dangerous area, where James Lee bravely met the ball and headed back across the keeper, 1-0.

Mods danced with danger as the insane canine Wilkinson stumbled on the ball and gave their striker a 1 on 1 before fetching the ball like a good dog and making a wonderful goal saving block. Mods doubled their lead when the often perplexed Mellor played a defence splitting pass to put Ben Turner through on the keeper, enough said. Masterfully lifted over the goalie on the half volley, 2-0.

Mods seemed to take their foot off the gas slightly and were fortunate to extend their lead. A nice bit of play between Jamieson and Waz sent Gillett down the right, who played a good looking ball into the corridor of uncertainty, only for a bluster to guide the ball into the far corner beyond a helpless keeper, 3-0.

The half was drawing to a close with Mods carrying a nervous looking 3-0 lead to defend against the wind. Fortunately there was more to come, Gillett received one of Mellor's famously weak throws down the left, cut inside and hit a wind assisted drive from the corner of the box. Whether it was the wind, or his wrists being made of prawn crackers, the Kippax keeper let it slip through his hands and Gillett into a comfortable lead as the top scoring old man in midfield. 4-0.

Half time sick report- this weeks spewers are Dizzee Claxton at half time and Red Card Jamieson during the first half.

Second half, into the wind, looked like a near impossible task. Fortunately, Mods had Dec Keaney in their ranks who seemed to have been training in a wind tunnel and carried the ball amazingly against all odds. The half started slow and Mods were doing a good job of killing the game. A flurry of corners, which Pouncett seemed to think we're being conceded intentionally eventually led to an inevitable Kippax goal as the trusty zonal marking policy was blown away and the Kippaz captain powered home a header. 4-1.

No need to be nervous as the near unplayable Keaney rinsed their right back yet again and squared across the goal for Turner, who almost looked bored scoring such an easy tap in, 5-1.

Just when things were looking slightly comfortable, Mods went back to conceding a conveyor belt of corners. The wind picked up and Kippax's Tugay doppelgänger whipped an effort straight on goal, over Lewis and seemingly into the net, only for Keaney to scoop a header off the line, defying physics. It was a shame that ML21 showed his appreciation for this by flapping his own poppadom wrist at the next corner, which went straight in, 5-2.

Lewis was redeeming himself with some astonishing into the wind kicking, giving himself some sort of god complex throughout the second half. Not even ML21 and his big boot could help when Wilkinson, with 'no corners' ringing in his ears inexplicably passed it back to him from literally 1 yard, a shocked Lewis shuffled it away and the half clearance was then driven into the top corner from 30 yards, with Jamieson laughing all the way like a true pro, 5-3.

At this point, anyone associated with Mods would have taken 5-5. New year, new mods. Ben Turner flicked the ball around the centre back, rounded the keeper and despite seemingly being off the pitch, managed to slot home left footed and seal the game 6-3.

There was just time for the league's hottest marksman to be KO'd/get bored and the mods finished with 10 men. Hurrell replaced James Lee and Joe Heb replaced Keaney to help see the game out with great comfort.

Finally a win on the board to officially stop the rot, Mods look forwards to next week and to get some semblance of form going. UTM.

Kippax 3 - 6 Leeds Modernians Football Club 1sts ()

Name Goals Details
1 Matty Lewis  
2 James Kent  
3 Damien Mellor  
4 Daniel Jamieson  
5 Steve Wilkinson  
6 Phil Gillett   2
7 Wasim Khan  
8 Alex Pouncett  
9 Ben Turner   3
10 James Lee   1
11 Declan Keaney  
12 Danny Claxton  
13 Paul Hurrell  
14 Joe Hebblewhite  
15 Robert Turner  
16 Chris Roy  
17 Clive Smythe  
18 Mick Birch  
19 A.N. Other  
20  
21