Match Report

Match Report - 03 Oct 2015, Leeds Modernians Football Club 1sts beat Settle


An early meet this Saturday for the Mods as they embarked on their mission to claim the County Cup, a first round draw saw them making the long trip to the northern boundary of this beautiful county to ‘the black hole of society’ that is Settle. The long journey prompted the call for a bus, so that after a valiant victory the boys could enjoy a booze cruise on the journey home. However as the boys turned up for 11am in high spirits, they were unaware of the sour turn the day was about to take:
· The bus never turned up
· Waz never turned up
· Cowie did turn up
How could things get worse from here?
As the boys crammed into cars and chipped in for fuel, we laughed at the fact Rob Turner had spunked £70 on a deposit for the bus, a chap called Acktar from Harehills couldn’t believe his luck when Robert showed him the fibre of his fabric. However things were about to get worse still when 5 miles from the ground we found ourselves at a standstill in traffic, as an hour passed we finally reached the front of the queue to find we had to source an alternative route. For the first time in 2 years the Mods were defiant in adversity, like 12 Captain Cooks we set sail for a new route to the holy grail, through many villages that sounded like new schools for a Harry Potter film (Hofflesmog, Wigglesmuff and Gigglesdick). The boys finally arrived at the ground just before kick-off to be greeted by a referee that gracefully allowed us a late start. A starting line up of Gibbo, Capitano, Gillett, Hurrels (C), Keeney, Kent, Hall, Lee, Platten, BT19 and Josh Smith, the latter having an ability switch just before kick of that also seemed to severely affect his capacity to speak English.
The Mods started slowly, giving away possession and being weak in tackles on a regular basis. Quickly finding themselves 2-0 down, both due to slack defending. Towards the end of the first half the Mods finally seemed to be getting more into the game however no clear cut chances came.
Half time came and saw what we thought at first was a large milk cow escaped from the nearby field, step into the team huddle and begin a dressing down of sorts that turned into what felt like William Wallis or Leonidis about to lead his troops to their death. At the beginning of the 2nd half, the Mods were like a new team, hunting back possession like a gang of rabid dogs. A brief interruption to make a master stroke of a substitution removing Lee for Toddy 10 minutes in to the 2nd half. Many at the time thought that Roberto had finally lost his marbles, but no, he’d found a sack full of cahones in the Yorkshire moors that proved the difference. For the final 35 minutes the Mods were rampant, 2 headers from Platten and a cultured pass in the corner from BT19 saw the Mods stroll into the next round. A special mention must go to Jim Kent, MOM by a stretch, stood solid at the base of midfield like a bargain Fernandino driving the ranks. Another mention goes to the Settle goalkeeper, that like a spoilt 5 year old brat refused to shake anyone’s hand ate full time, if you read this sunshine, I hope you’re ashamed.

Post match antics included a ridiculous team bet on England to win the Rugby, Phil Gillett losing his motor skills, and Cowie still being there.


Settle 2 - 3 Leeds Modernians Football Club 1sts ()

Name Goals Details
1 Matt Gibbons  
2 Ryan Capitano  
3 Declan Keaney  
4 Phil Gillett  
5 Danny Todd  
6 Paul Hurrell  
7 Mikey Hall  
8 James Lee  
9 Wasim Khan  
10 Ben Turner   1
11 Adam Platten   2
12 A.N. Other  
13 David Cowie  
14 James Kent  
15 A.N. Other  
16 A.N. Other  
17 Mick Birch  
18 Clive Smythe  
19 Robert Turner  
20  
21