Match Report

Match Report - 21 Feb 2009, Leeds Modernians Football Club 4ths beat Leeds City OB III

Match Report: Sat 21st February 2009
Old Mod's IV vs. Leeds City III
Result 2:1 (HT 2:1)

Another must win game.
We did just that.
John Teddy Bear Ainley bagged another goal, and is one closer to that 20 goals he will score this season, and Scot G scored his first ever goal.
On the YOBL website, there is the first report from our very own roving reporter...

''by Tony Traubert.

Blustery conditions and sub-standard pitch prevented any possibility of a decent game of football here. An entertaining game was always going to be second best to the lure of 3 points for either side. Mods shaded the early exchanges and took the lead 15 mins in through the ever present Scott Gamble who made a surging run from centre half and after a goal mouth mele he slotted cooly past the Leeds City keeper. Mods looked fairly in control of the game with Leeds City being a constant threat on the counter attack, however neither team created too many chances in earnest. Shortly before half time Leeds City were back in the game with a brilliantly taken finish from their forward, who was a constant threat to our defence all game. However, within a minute, Mods had regained their lead with a well take goal from evergreen John Ainley. The wind continued to spoil the game throughout the second half with neither team managing to play their best football. Leeds City took control of the opening 20mins after the restart, until Mods found the belief that they could get another to kill the game off. A penalty was then awarded to Leeds City but a great save from keeper Ashton Rowe kept the Mods lead in tact. A few nervy moments for the Mods backline as full time approached but the defence stood firm and earned them a valuable 3 points to move clear of the relegation zone. A hard fought battle with the game played by either side in the correct spirit and was well refereed. Not a great spectacle but a good advert for competitive grass roots football.''

So, what else could be written after that expert analysis? Well, there is always......

About 6months ago in Shanghai, a young boy of 9years old was dreaming of playing football for the devils of Europe, his beloved Man Utd.
He was sat, hunched over the huge desk where his mates, brother, mother, and father all worked in the Nike factory.
He started, as he did everyday, at 6am and finished at 7pm. For the princely sum of $1 a day his job was to check that velcro was on the back of the football shin pads that came flying past him at 2,ooo an hour, and place in a cellophane bag.

Each time he checked for the velcro was a moment closer to his dream. ''I am touching the shin pads that will be worn by Wayne Rooney. One day they will be worn by me in Manchester, England."
A dreamer by nature, the young boy, in a moment of self prophetic realisation, was in the dressing room at Old Trafford.
Next to him was a fat, bold, overweight, smoking Wayne Rooney. His idol. It was his debut for the RedDevils.
After the American Sinai war of 2015, the British Governemnt, overthrown by a rising right wing middle class who clubbed together and took control of all the shopping malls of the country, banned all acts of ostentatious wealth, drinking, smoking, cycling, walking after 8pm, and had a weekly stoning of all those who did not shop. Yes, England had finally got what it wanted, but China told it what to do.

A player from China was to be put into Man Utd.

However, he had forgotten his shin pads.
Then he remembered all the shin pads that he had sweated over as a young boy in Shanghai, and his dream became clouded, a rising anger developed, a voice appeared and the young boy's dream became focussed on this voice. It was not his own, but is was a familiar sound, he was scared, but the voice soothed. The voice told him about the curse, the curse of the Shin pad. The shin pad in his hand glowed, became hot to touch, and the voice melted into the back of the velcro of the shin pad.
The boy, snapped out of his dream, to return to the shouts of his mother and brother as shin pads were piling up all around him.
He put the shin pad of his dream into the cellophane bag, ran to the nearest exit and cried.

This shin pad was placed on a cargo ship, destination Bristol, England.
The shin pads were distributed throughout the sporting outlets of the country. They were a huge source of revenue for the sporting outlets, selling out in 6weeks, a record. Except one pair of shin pads.

Scot Gamble, having borrowed shin pads from all and sundry, decided it was time to get some of his own.
All the outlets had sold out, he was resigned to the fact that he was to be a shin pad pilferer once again, until he saw a slight glow under a pair of boxer shorts.
Thinking these could be the boxer shorts that would secure his love life for at least the next 10 years, he approached the glow.
Picking the boxer shorts off the rack he came across the last pair in England of shin pads.
Ignoring the glow, the omen it clearly prophesised, he snapped them up.

He was made up, 'Now i have my own shin pads, nothing can stop me'.
Every game of football he played from there on in, he was on the losing side.
No matter what team, what formation his dodgy captain selected, where he played, 5 a side, 11 a side, indoor, outdoor, he always lost.

He had to do something.

He thought about all the possible reasons as to why this was happening to him.

He thought and thought and thought.

Then, just when he thought all hope was lost, a revelation, 'It's the shin pads, it has to be the shin pads!'.

This revelation occurred on a Sunday afternoon, during his weekly consolation to the defeats he suffers at football, and his girlfriend was mortified to find out in such a fashion, that Scot was involved with and cared more for his shin pads..''It's the shin pads, YES!, It's the shin pads!''
Scot, having recovered from the kicks to the groin, punch over the head, picked himself up off the floor and wrote down what he had to do.

For the whole week, Scot wore his shin pads.
He went to bed with his shin pads, they preferred the left hand side, which was a relief to him, for it meant not too much disruption or furniture moving.

On Saturday, Scot was to be heard talking to himself outside the dressing room. He seemed distracted. His game was his usual floorless self, but everytime he was involved in a passage of play, once his contribution was over, he stroked his shin pads and spoke to them.

Perplexed, but not concerned, for he is mad himself, Scot's Captain Neil ignored this 'stroking of the pads', and would enquire into the matter after the game.
He did so, and Neil promised Scot that whatever he said would remain between them.
He was true to his word, for all the above is a crock of s**t.


Back to normal.
Ashton Rowe was brilliant. 5 top class saves, a penalty save, a b*ll*cking a piece to all the defender's in front of him and when asked who was the team's m.o.m, he put his own hand up and said ''Me''......Yep, Ashton Rowe, M.O.M UbermenshUbuntu....again.

Leeds Modernians Football Club 4ths 2 - 1 Leeds City OB III ()

Name Goals Details
1 Ashton Rowe   m.o.m: our match winner. another ubu ubu ubu
2 Neil Bennington   very happy, few dodgy moments, but overall, steady away
3 Wayne Fitch   good all round game. offered to be subbed. nice one fitchy, ta.
4 Neil Gordon   battled as usual all game, kept team shape
5 Sam Young   brilliant cb play
6 Scot Gamble   1 his first goal for the mods and first win for his own shin pads.
7 Sean Doherty   always looked a threat. had a shot hit the post. unlucky
8 Stewart Featherstone   experienced play in cm, just what team needed
9 John Ainley   1 in the groove now. 20 goals this season?
10 Joel Beaumont   terrific game in 1st alonside teddy bear
11 Matty Lewis   another solid performance from smiler and the new voice of the YOBL
12 Fraser Best   on for fitchy 62mins. always great to see fraser play
13 Greg Husband   on for joel b 68mins. good impact from greg. kept up our intensity in attack
14 A.N. Other